For the New Year, Say No To Negativity by J. Tierney an R. F. Baumeister

For the New Year, Say No To Negativity by John Tierney an Roy F. Baumeister

Via The Wall Street Journal, December 27, 2020.

For the New Year, Say No To Negativity

Excerpts:

Bad experiences affect us much more powerfully than good ones, but there are ways to deal with this destructive bias and overcome it

…For 2020, here’s a resolution that could actually work: Go on a low-bad diet.

Our minds and lives are skewed by a fundamental imbalance that is just now becoming clear to scientists: the negativity effect.

Also known as the negativity bias, it’s the universal tendency for bad events and emotions to affect us more strongly than positive ones. We’re devastated by a word of criticism but unmoved by a shower of praise.

We see the hostile face in the crowd and miss all the friendly smiles.

We focus so much on bad news, especially in a digital world that magnifies its power, that we don’t realize how much better life is becoming for people around the world.

The negativity effect sounds depressing – and it often is – but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. By recognizing it and overriding our innate responses, we can break destructive patterns, make smarter decisions, see the world more realistically and also exploit the benefits of this bias.

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How ‘Gourmet Makes’ Host Claire Saffitz Teaches The Valuable Lessons of Failing by Monica Torres

How ‘Gourmet Makes’ Host Claire Saffitz Teaches The Valuable Lessons of Failing by Monica Torres

How ‘Gourmet Makes’ Host Claire Saffitz Teaches The Valuable Lessons of Failing

Excerpts:

….This is the drama of the popular Bon Appétit video series “Gourmet Makes.” Whenever a new episode pops up in my YouTube feed, I first look at the runtime. My excitement over each show is directly correlated to how long we get to watch Saffitz attempt a homemade version of the commercial snack foods of our youth with little to go on but a food wrapper and memories.

Recent challenges include Starburst (40 minutes), Twix (39 minutes) and those pesky Doritos (46 minutes).

“Gourmet Makes” stands out for showing how a recipe is actually tested in a professional kitchen through trial and error. Saffitz is a professional chef figuring out how to engineer a recipe in real time during the show, and we’re privy to her failures and frustrations along the way….

Saffitz’s bold attempts at recreating processed snacks also model what leadership and management professor Amy Edmondson called “intelligent failure” in the Harvard Business Review.

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Ten Things Mentally Strong People Won’t Do by T. Bradberry

Ten Things Mentally Strong People Won’t Do by T. Bradberry

Ten Things Mentally Strong People Won’t Do by T. Bradberry

Life has a way of testing your mental strength (also known as emotional intelligence) when you least expect it.

The true sign of mental strength doesn’t lie in what you do; it’s what you don’t and absolutely won’t do. The greater the challenge, the more difficult it is to respond with mental fortitude.

It’s hard to be mentally strong, especially when you feel stuck.

The ability to break the mold and take a bold new direction requires that extra grit, daring, and spunk that only the mentally strongest people have.

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Psychology Shows It’s A Big Mistake to Base Our Self-Worth on Our Professional Achievements by E. E. Smith

Psychology Shows It’s A Big Mistake to Base Our Self-Worth on Our Professional Achievements

Psychology Shows It’s A Big Mistake to Base Our Self-Worth on Our Professional Achievements– originally published May 2017

Excerpts:

Contemporary society has some very wrong-headed ideas about what constitutes success. Popular thinking holds that a person who went to Harvard is smarter and better than someone who attended Ohio State; that a father who stays at home with his kids is contributing less to society than a man who works at a Fortune 500 company; that a woman with 200 Instagram followers must be less valuable than a woman with two million.

This notion of success isn’t just elitist and misguided; it actively hurts those who believe it.

For my book, The Power of Meaning, I spoke to many people who defined their identity and self-worth by their educational and career achievements. When they succeeded, their lives felt meaningful, and they were happy.

But when they failed or struggled, the only thing that gave their lives value was gone—and so they fell into despair, and became convinced they were worthless.

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Here’s How To Overcome Fear And Get Unstuck by D. Brustein

Here’s How To Overcome Fear And Get Unstuck by D. Brustein

Here’s How To Overcome Fear And Get Unstuck

Excerpts:

It can be difficult to find your path, get unstuck, build confidence, and overcome fear. And if it’s challenging for us as adults, how do we create positive habits for children and set them up for happiness and success?

In an effort to uncover tried-and-true strategies, I spoke with Brent Feinberg, author of Freeing Freddie, who breaks down for us the best ways to approach these topics, no matter your age!

Join us in the conversation:

….Brustein: You write about believing in oneself as the foundation for curiosity and wonder. What is preventing kids from developing this self-esteem, and how do they begin to build it?

Feinberg: The quote in my book is from e. e. Cummings. Fear is a big factor holding children and people of all ages back from exploring life in a way that will bring them greater fulfillment and happiness.

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The Power of Visualization by M. Horowitz

The Power of Visualization by M. Horowitz

The Power of Visualization by M. Horowitz

6 Tips to Visualize Your Dreams Coming True

Excerpts:

Sometimes it’s not enough to have a goal. Sometimes you have to picture yourself achieving it.

…. In his book Positive Imaging, Norman Vincent Peale writes that visualization “consists of vividly picturing, in your conscious mind, a desired goal or objective, and holding that image until it sinks into your unconscious mind, where it releases great, untapped energies.

… What I’ve discovered is that visualizing for positive changes is easier and often more powerful than we realize. Here is how it works.

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How To Elevate Yourself When Your Job Search and Life are Dragging You Down by J. Kelly

How To Elevate Yourself When Your Job Search and Life are Dragging You Down by J. Kelly

How To Elevate Yourself When Your Job Search and Life are Dragging You Down

Excerpts:

When you are interviewing, it is easy to become discouraged and feel defeated and dejected. It’s not just you; everyone experiences rejection in the process.

Here are some motivational thoughts to keep you positive and energized when your job search—and life for that matter—is looking bleak and hopeless.

1. Treat each day as a new beginning. Don’t get caught up with all the failures from the past. Forget about prior indiscretions, feuds, animosities or something a family member said to you 13 years ago that you forgot what it even was, but you still won’t talk with them. This is history. History is over. You are not that person any longer. You are the person living in the here and now.

2. There are no “what ifs” only “what’s next.” So, you made the wrong choice over which college to attend and chose the wrong major. You didn’t have a mentor or get the big break. We have to move on and forget about the “what ifs.”  It is a new start.

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How to Embrace Change Using Emotional Intelligence by K. Wiens

How to Embrace Change Using Emotional Intelligence by K. Wiens

How to Embrace Change Using Emotional Intelligence

Excerpts:

…Changes at work can be emotionally intense, sparking confusion, fear, anxiety, frustration, and helplessness. Experts have even said that the experience of going through change at work can mimic that of people who are suffering from grief over the loss of a loved one.

Because change can be so physically and emotionally draining, it often leads to burnout and puts into motion an insidious cycle that leads to even greater resistance to change.

No one wants to be an obstacle to change, instinctively resisting any new initiatives or efforts. It’s not good for you, your career, or your organization. Improving your adaptability, a critical emotional intelligence competency, is key to breaking this cycle.

Fortunately, this is a skill that can be learned. …

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Let This Be The Year You Finally Stop Letting Fear Get In Your Way by A. L. Malmquist

Let This Be The Year You Finally Stop Letting Fear Get In Your Way by A. L. Malmquist

Let This Be The Year You Finally Stop Letting Fear Get In Your Way by A. L. Malmquist

Excerpts:

With each new year comes the opportunity to shed your past and start anew. Although it’s just a technicality, it’s easier to conceptualize change with the marking of a new year.

The start of a new year can symbolize a new start for you, and for many, that’s just what we desire; the chance transform, the chance to conquer, the chance to be fearless. So, with the start of 2019, let this be the year that you finally stop letting fear get in your way.

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It’s Good to Imagine Being Embarrassed by E. Zimmerman

It’s Good to Imagine Being Embarrassed by E. Zimmerman

It’s Good to Imagine Being Embarrassed by E. Zimmerman

Excerpts:

There’s something I’d like to try, although it has a fairly high chance of not working out, which I imagine would cause me to feel stupid, awkward/foolish, rejected, and out of step with social cues. Maybe the timing will be better later, but until then, I don’t do it. And probably that’s smart, or maybe not, I don’t know.

A recent essay on Psychology Today makes me think I should just do this thing. The story is about our fear of embarrassment, and how it — more than our fear of failure — is generally what inhibits us.

But if we press down on our embarrassment by actually envisioning the things we’re afraid might happen — the truly worst-case scenarios — they’re usually not so bad.

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